Congratulations! You’re finally engaged! If you’re the woman, you thought it would never come. If you’re the man, all the nerves and planning are finally over. You’ve had a million different people tell you cliché sayings about being tied down, and now, you’re starting the planning process (or maybe the woman already has the whole thing planned out on Pinterest). Planning a wedding can be overwhelming. Guest lists. Photographer. Food. Songs. Bridesmaids. Groomsmen. Dresses. Tuxes. How are you supposed to keep all this straight?!
In the midst of this whirlwind of planning, phone calls, emails, and forms to sign, it’s easy to get caught up in the experience and forget to actually enjoy the time before you are married. This should be one of the most exciting times in your lives. You’ve just gotten engaged to the love of your life. You’re going to be spending the rest of your life with this man or woman. Instead of focusing on being so concerned with making sure every TINY detail is exactly how you’ve always imagined, stop and enjoy your engagement!
Take this time of engagement to ENGAGE with your fiancé. Get to know them even better. I mean, you are going to be spending the rest of your lives together. Go out of your way to spend more time together and learn more about each other. Ask each other deep, meaningful questions like, “White or dark chocolate?”, “Beach or mountains?”. Okay, maybe something a little more meaningful than that, like, “How many kids do you want?”, “Are you okay with living 2 hours away from your parents?”. These questions are important, and the engagement is a perfect time to dive in, if you haven’t asked them already.
Something that was very helpful to us (and something that our marriage counselor/pastor that preformed the wedding ceremony/Katie’s cousin suggested) was to look at all of the house chores and who we expected to do them. We looked at the sheet of paper and listed things like “washing dishes”, “vacuuming”, “dusting”, etc. After that, we put who did those chores when we were growing up, mom or dad, and then who we expected to do that in our own marriage. Be warned, this little exercise can EXTREMELY eye-opening. If you are anything like us, your answers are going to be very different. It was helpful for us to discuss our expectations BEFORE the wedding.
Another important exercise for engaged couples (at least, it was for us) is to ask each other about what your goals are for your careers, family, and friends. Does she plan on being a stay-at-home mom? Maybe you want to go back to school to get another degree. Would you ever move to a different state? Learn each others goals, dreams, and plans.
Enjoy this phase of life together. Don’t get too wrapped up in deciding the color of the flowers or if you want to have glass vs. plastic cake plates. Heck, we forgot cake plates all together. Engage each other. Remember, marriage is about more than just the one day when everyone gets dressed up.