Kids are the joy of life (we only say this with a little sarcasm). Look we don’t need to know why you’re thinking about not having children at your wedding – there could be a dozen different reasons. Maybe you won’t want anyone crying during the wedding, or you don’t want chicken fingers at the reception. Maybe it’s cause you don’t want any toddlers running around on the dance floor.
It all depends on what you want for your wedding and your wedding reception.
There are a lot of strong feelings and MANY opinions on if kids are invited to the wedding if the parents are invited. Like most arguments, there are strong cases for both sides.
Let’s start with some reasons a couple may NOT want to include kids in the wedding invite. As you probably know if you’ve ever been within 100 yards of a kid – they can be quite unpredictable. Most people have been to a wedding ceremony where a baby has started crying in the middle.
It’s no one’s fault. Babies cry and the parents try everything they can to soothe them, but it happens. The only 100% way to prevent that is to not have kids at the wedding.
The more practical reason to not have children at your wedding is for the savings. Not inviting kids can save dozens of meals.
If you’ve decided to not have children during your magical matrimony, how do you actually do it? A lot of couples like the idea of an adult-only wedding, but they are afraid of hurting feelings or they aren’t sure about the logistics of letting guests know.
Make sure to be careful on how you address the invitation or even include a special note.
Setting your guests’ expectations, to begin with, can prevent any awkward conversations or hurt feelings in the future. This starts with your invitation or even the save the date.
If you know from the start that you are planning to only have adults, feel free to include that on the Save the Date. It can be a small note on the back of the save the date. The more time guests have to find a babysitter, the better.
Obviously, you don’t want to call any specific family out – so make sure you make a broad announcement on your RSVP. Additionally, make sure it’s addressed to “Mr. & Mrs. Jones” – not the “Jones Family” – wording goes a long way.
Your wedding website is the PERFECT place to let guests know about your wishes for no kids at the wedding. It’s important that your guests are well aware of the situation beforehand, and if you’re pointing guests to the site – make sure it’s clear and easily found.
You can also use your site to explain your reasoning (if you want to, but don’t feel obligated. It’s your wedding and you don’t need “reasons”) or even offer babysitting suggestions.
One thing you have to be careful of if you decide to have an adult-only wedding ceremony is to not make exceptions. We know that sounds really harsh and cruel, but it’s the easiest way to avoid hurt feelings.
What about the flower girl and ring bearer? Great question. Most couples who decide to not have toddlers running around skip the ring bearers and flower girls. This prevents the questions of, “if their kids could come, why not ours?”
But that’s only what some couples do. Always remember that this is your day. If you don’t want to have children at your ceremony and reception, but you still want to have a special tyke be involved, then it’s your decision. If someone has hurt feelings, then you can explain – but it’s not your job to make sure your day is perfect for them.