We know this has been an unprecedented season for everyone. We are all just winging it and honestly, no one really has many answers. To the bride and grooms to be out there, we know you are feeling more of the unknowns, what-ifs, and quite honestly, probably frustrations.
This post is for the GROOMS out there! How in the world do you support your bride to be when you are in the midst of wedding planning during a global pandemic? We know a lot of the planning typically falls to the bride. But we think the groom has a huge part to play in all of this. You are your girl’s confidant and go-to when she is stressed.
We can’t speak from experience, but we have seen A LOT of grooms as they are helping their bride plan and handle unexpected changes. So here are some ways you, the groom, can help your bride to be:
If you’re planning your wedding, rescheduling your wedding, or even THINKING about rescheduling, there are a lot of vendors to contact. It’s very overwhelming for one person to handle alone. It’s a lot of work and can be exhausting, especially if you’re having to reschedule and find a new potential date that all your vendors have available.
A wedding takes a whole circus of people and managing all of those parts can be like herding cats. It’s easier if there is a team, like the bride and groom partnering together.
But you know what they say, “teamwork makes the dream work.” Instead of leaving everything to your future wife, divide, and conquer. I promise, if both of you take a handful of to-dos, it WON’T take long at all or nearly as stressful.
Here’s a pro tip, make a spreadsheet that both of you can share. We love Google sheets. This makes it easier to keep track of who’s been called and what they’ve said in terms of availability, price, etc.
Okay, fellas, this one is KEY (and not just while you’re engaged, but FOREVER).
This is a crazy time for engaged couples. Some days aren’t going to be fun (which is true of every engagement), but you need to be willing to listen to your bride-to-be. I don’t mean just sit there and nod like a bobblehead doll on a dashboard of a ’97 Dodge Ram. Actually listen to what she’s saying, respond, and even ASK A QUESTIONS! Ask how you can help or even just how she is feeling.
You might not be able to fix the problem or contribute any solutions, but just listening and being present and engaged in the conversation will go a long way. She needs to know that she’s not in this alone. Plus, it’s good practice for your future marriage.
This is Mitchel here. I have something to say about this one.
DON’T TRY AND FIX EVERYTHING. This is something that really frustrated Katie when we first got married (it still does). When we were first married, she would tell me something she was frustrated about and I would just give her solutions. She would get frustrated and say, “I’m not asking you to fix it, I just need you to know.”
It’s great you want to help and make the problems go away, but let her get it out first and just be there. Then maybe you can fix it later.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog post. Go in peace.
Remember when I said this was a team effort? Your bride will probably want your input and ideas as you’re navigating the unknown of wedding planning during COVID. Instead of just saying, “I dunno” or “whatever you want,” actually share your opinion. If you don’t have one, make one up. You not having an opinion may frustrate her even more.
Yes, there are going to be several times when you really don’t care, but I promise if you put forth a little mental energy, you’ll have an opinion and your fiance will appreciate you sharing it.
There are going to be dozens of small details you would never think about, but they matter to your fiance, which means they should matter to you. We don’t expect you to write a 12-page report on changing the caterer from one BBQ place to another, but sharing your thoughts will mean a lot.
Planning any large event is never a small feat. But it’s even more difficult when it’s your wedding day and there is a pandemic.
But, I promise, you and your finance will get through this and you’ll be stronger for it.
Work together. Lean on each other. Make a spreadsheet. Pray.
Everything will work out and you’ll have an amazing wedding! We are cheering you on!