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Marriage, Personal

April 24, 2018

Marriage Monday – Being Together, but Apart

Okay, you probably know we spend a lot of time together. Not only do we spend a lot of time in the car or on shoots, but both of us love to hang out and be with each other. As we should.

We are best friends and we love to do everything together (most times), but here is the problem. We tend to block ourselves off from other people.

This is time for us to confess, we aren’t good at spending time with other people. We like to hole up in our house and never leave (we end up spending a lot of time working on our house). 

Yes, yes – we know it’s not good to isolate ourselves, but we’re working on it.
Because we aren’t the best at it, we wanted to offer some advice to engaged/newly married couples. The sooner you learn some of these things, the better.

So, you might be wondering, what’s so wrong with spending all of your time together?

First off, you will get tired of each other. We hate to say it, but it’s going to happen. You can’t spend all of your time with one person and not get annoyed by them.

It might take several months or even years. You’ll find yourself annoyed by the smallest of things (i.e. loud chewing or popping toes, just as random examples).

Not only will they begin to get on your nerves, but you’ll realize you have nobody to turn to. You won’t have anyone to share your problems or struggles with. You should share everything with your spouse, but there a lot of times you need another set of ears.

Spend all of your time with your spouse, and you won’t have that extra set of ears.

Hang out With Friends

When you’re first married, who wants to spend time with other people?! Nobody! You want to spend time with your new husband/wife. There is nothing wrong with that!

But if you’re not careful, you can find yourself isolated and complete strangers with your friends. When you finally want to hang out, nobody will be willing to make the time. 

If you think there is anything wrong with wanting to hang out with friends, either with or without your spouse, then you’re wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do something with other people.

Those friends can help strengthen your marriage and help it grow, but if you don’t ever see them, it’s hard for them to help. 

Plan Time Apart

Not only do we think you and your spouse should spend time apart, but we think you should plan it. Yep, but it on the calendar. Why should you write down the date?

Because if you don’t, then you probably won’t do it.

Even if you just put an event on your schedule called “time apart,” it’s better than nothing.

Take Time Alone

Another great practice is to take time alone.

If you’re anything like the normal person, you’re busy. You probably don’t have time to just sit – but you should.

Taking some time to ourselves  is important. It’s an excellent way to center ourselves and recharge. Don’t keep pushing yourself to the back burner. Take at least 15 minutes to go to on a walk by yourself. Go sit on a bench somewhere and just think.

If you’ve liked this post, be sure to check out some of our other Marriage Monday thoughts. 

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