Who would have ever guessed that so many 2020 couples would have to make major changes to their weddings? We all know that covid-19 has completely torn apart any idea of a “normal” as we know it.

While it has been a bummer to have plans changed and what feels like so much going against couples, in the end, what matters most is that the couple gets married. Whether on their original date, at the courthouse, or pushed back a few months. The end goal is a fulfilling and happy marriage. How you get there may look different than originally planned, or course, but it’s still the goal.

During this weird and unprecedented season, that has been our biggest piece of advice for engaged couples. Focus on the two of you, your soon-to-be union, and your love story. You honestly can’t worry and stress about much else because it will make you crazy.

We know that it can be very stressful to figure out how best to tell your guests that they are no longer invited to your big day. First of all, we promise that they are going to understand, but trying to find the right words can be tricky. Well, we have to templates that you can use to put on your “change the date” cards or wedding website.

COVID Univite Template #1

Dear friends and family,

Considering today’s climate and the concerns around everyone’s safety, we have decided to limit the number of guests that will be attending on wedding. Instead of the larger guest we originally planned, we will not only be having close family.

While we are disappointed that all of our loved ones won’t be able to join us in person on this special day, we would love for you to still celebrate with us virtually.

Uninvite Template #2

Dear friends,

You’re probably aware of today’s climate (global pandemic if you haven’t heard), and you might know what’s coming. While we would love to have a giant party with everyone, we want to keep everyone safe. It’s with a lot of consideration (and some wine), that we’ve decided to have a much smaller guest list for our big day (or small day). 

We will only have close family in person at our wedding, but we hope you can join us virtually (because we are all experts at Zoom now, right). 

P.s. It’s not you, it’s us. Actually, it’s a pandemic. 

Tips for Uninviting Guests to Your Wedding

While we don’t want you to stress, we do know that you can’t put off making decisions that will affect your wedding day and your guests. So here are a few tips to help you decide if you need to uninvite guests in order to make your wedding more covid-friendly.

1. If you haven’t already sent out Save the Dates or formal invitations, you’re in luck!

Now, more than ever, you have the chance to not feel guilty if you don’t invite your grandma’s Bible study ladies, every single colleague from work, or your aunt twice removed. You don’t have to invite a super long guest list in the first place, which can honestly be a relief on your stress-levels and your wallet. This is your chance to really focus on who means the most to you and your fiance. Those who are truly your closest circle of family and friends.

We Suggest:

Thinking carefully through who you’d like to invite before sending out your Save the Dates. Don’t be afraid to have a smaller celebration if that’s what you want.

2. If you have already sent out Save the Dates, but not the formal invitation, update your wedding website with a note explaining.

If you know you need to make changes to the guest list, for any myriad of reasons, the venue requiring smaller numbers or you just wanting everyone to be safe, then pause. Don’t rush into that decision.

We Suggest:

Instead of sending 100 out of the 200 people you sent Save the Dates to a “Sorry, you’re uninvited” postcard in the mail, we think you should direct everyone to your wedding website.

You can make a note on your wedding website mentioning that Save the Dates were sent out before Covid numbers rose, or that you have taken everything into consideration and for the safety of your guests, are shortening the list.

Maybe mention the target date that formal invites will be going out, and inform your guests that sadly, those not receiving formal invites can join you virtually. You can have an option like Facebook Live or Zoom, or something like that if you really want everyone to feel a part of your day.

3. In your wedding invitation, if you’re hoping to not have to un-invite guests, slip a note that directs your guests to your wedding website in case something changes.

We get it. Guests are antsy and have lots of questions. Is your wedding still happening? Have you shortened the guest list? What kind of precautions are being taken at the wedding to insure safety of guests?

The list goes on and on. While it may feel like your guests are just being nosy with questions, they likely are just as frantic as you trying to figure out what is expected of them, and how to keep themselves safe, while of course supporting you and your soon-to-be new marriage.

We Suggest:

If you haven’t sent out your formal invitations, tastefully write up a nice paragraph about what your plans are and what precautions are being taken on the wedding day, and slip it inside your wedding invitation suite. You can reassure your guests of a few specific things you may be doing to keep them safe.

Now, you definitely have to make sure that your insert matches the paper color and color scheme of your invitation. Also you’ll want to be sure it’s elegant in looks and elegantly written.

For example, instead of using size 14 Arial font on a piece of printer paper crammed inside your envelope, you can have your stationer help you pick out and print something that matches well. Smaller, more elegant font that matches your invitation suite is the way to go.

Example of Wedding Invitation Insert:

We had a couple who did this, and we were truly impressed with how it turned out. Here is what they included inside their invitation suite:

We realize this year has presented challenges with covid-19, and we understand that the virus is present and spreading. At this time, [bride name] and [groom name]’s wedding scheduled for [wedding date] will continue as planned. We understand the very real concerns that coronavirus raises. We want our guests to feel comfortable and safe, even if that means not attending the wedding.

We have been thoughtful and prayerful about this situation. Not to worry – we do have a plan.

Some precautions we are taking to help combat the spread of covid-19:
• 50% or less capacity of ceremony venue
• Reception venue has space for indoor and outdoor seating as well as spacing seating at least 6 feet apart
• Hand sanitizer will be available throughout the venue
• Facemasks will be available if you do not have your own to bring
• Food at reception will be plated in leau of a buffet line 

We hope by [wedding date] the virus will be on the decline. However, at the end of the day, you have to make your own choice to attend or not. If you are not comfortable attending, we absolutely understand. And of course, if you are sick or have symptoms of covid-19, please stay home!

For more updates and information, please visit [insert wedding website here]. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay 6 feet apart, and we hope to see you soon!